WRAPPED IN WHITE...

Wrapped in white I lay here, in the dungeon
all alone, in the cold darkness....
while trying so hard to figure it out
whether I am dead or still alive.
Can not feel my heart beating....
Can not feel my own breathing...
suffocated,savaged and loathed
now I lay here, wrapped in white!

I am no angel and neither were you
I wronged, I sinned, I suffered...
& its you, only you, whom I ever loved!
I love you as I have always loved you
with such intensity and passion...
that grew stronger and stronger, day by day.
But you never heard the sound of my silence.
Thousand tears I wept, every day and night...
How much I loved you, how much I longed for you;
to join my soul with yours,until we merge together;
you could have taste it in my dropping tears.
I was shrieking, screaming so loud...
as the pain was striking like lightning;
still you could not listen, you could not feel.

I wish you had hugged me more....
I wish you had caressed me more....
I wish you had kissed me more....
& I wish you had loved me more.

The warmth of your skin,the taste of your kiss
intensity of your piercing gazes....
and the wildness of your beguiling touch
all are dreams now...far away...out of reach!
Only Lord knows how much I have suffered
how much I have bleed for you....
Soon my soul will leave my body,
I am going to die, as I can sense it
my aching heart will stop beating...
and my dried lips won't long for water.

I will wait, under this canopy of darkness
as I have been, since you were gone.

You have enthralled my very soul...

I am addicted, I am stuck, immersed in you.

Myriad reflections of the shadows of past,

engulf me slowly, like a drug somnolent my soul.

My conscience strikes my heart so hard..

and it hurts so much...I faint...I quail.

The dreary night keeps on whispering,

untold tales of love,sorrow,passion and betrayals.

You are bound to come as you had promised
and I know it in my heart, you will come,
to carry my lifeless body...cold and stiff.
You will hold me close to your heart...
and carry me up,through the eternal darkness
towards the heavenly light,slowly and silently.
so wrapped in white,I lay here in the dungeon
all alone....in the cold darkness!!

DAHO.........

sedin khub kosto hoyechilo....
mone hoyechilo,aj i amar sesh din
pranhin, batashin, nishtobdho
gorer sob theke andhar kona y
chure diyechilam klanto sorir...
moner andhar ar raater andhar
mile mishe ek hoye gechilo sedin!
nishashe chilo agun,jhapsa dui chokh
jolchilam ami ki ek asojjho jontronay
andhare sudhe haatre beriyechilam...
jodi pai kothao kono ushno sporsho!
khub khujechilam...kintu paini ami...
ekai jolchilam,pure chaii hochilam
pranpone chesta korchilam thont chepe;
jate thamte pari...jate bachte pari...
sudhu kedechilam,khub kedechilam;
kichute thamchilona, thamate parini ami!
hridoye chilo sudhu agnisomo daho
sara raat suyechilam,oi andhar kona y
na morte parchilam,na bachte chaichilam...
ki jani ki hoyechilo sedin........
khub kosto hoyechilo ; khub kosto!

LEAVE ME ALONE...!!!

I am being so numb,I am being so cold;
never found any hand,that I can hold.
I am going so far....far away,
hiding those cravings,I couldn't ever say!
Safe inside me,all those tiny dreams...
ridiculous to others,for me they gleam.
They gleam in the darkest nights;
and it's for them, I have to fight!
My dreams are the reasons,why I exist,
to the world,everything I do,is childish!
Tired of being what they want me to be...
I am fading, losing myself...they can't see!
All those cruel words,they utter so easily;
they are murdering my soul,slowly.
Nowadays I feel nothing,nothing at all!
back are those wintry days,foggy and dull...
It's raining inside my heart,storm inside my head;
every moment....I wish, I were dead!
Every night I wet my pillow...
miss those days, soothing and mellow!
Do not know , why no one understands me...
they can not see, what I can see!
Do not know why no one notices me...
sitting alone, under the dark brown tree...!!!

BENEATH THE SURFACE...

Behind the mask I am hiding myself,
to know the real me,you have to delve;
and remove my veil,the veil of mystery...
that guards my soul,guards my history!
My darkest thoughts are buried deep inside
through the brumous,narrow alleys I glide by...
The world outside has never, ever cared...
I was afraid to fly,I had never dared.
I am alone here, misunderstood and hurt;
used and thrown away,left in the dirt!
I am the owner of the weakest heart;
it bleeds often as people break it apart.
It's so cold inside,I have become numb;
before the brutal reality,I've succumbed.
Standing with an empty heart,in the twilight
fighting with the beast within,to survive!

SOUL-MATE....

That day,I was standing there
you were shaking,you were so scared
No one noticed for no one else cared!
I went near and slowly you stared..
Don't know how that strange vibe;
reached me and finally we survived.
We came closer,like it was destined!
I saved you and you saved mine...
I lost in you,and you in me...
venus gleamed in our sky,we were free!

Though I was living,I was half-dead
I couldn't think,empty was my head...
I was angry...I was morbid
doing those things,everyone forbids.
I was hurt inside,and I was hiding...
I was so lonely and time was gliding.
Always I wondered,what is the reason..
why am I still waiting,in this prison?
I got my answer the moment you stared
you touched my soul,that no one else dared!

You had learned to hide, the hurts so well
but I could feel it all,you never needed to tell..
I could taste it all ,in your tears ;
I kissed you and gone were all your fears!
In our secret,dark world we belong....
when you hug me tight, all the worries are gone!
I can be me.....I do not need to pretend;
when I am with you, together we blend!
I hope we remain together, forever and ever
no one will understand us...no one! ever!!!

SURRENDER...

I am helpless,I feel powerless,
and now I have surrendered myself.
Can't you see the white flag...
blowing in the wind,above my door?
Why do I love you so much..
why do I keep thinking about you?
The mystery behind your blue eyes
drives me crazy,drives me insane...
The enigmatic smile,that you radiate;
titillates all the deadliest passions .
To a surreal world,you belong...
though object of craving,yet so forlorn!
You are the mightiest soul....
invincible knight,with golden sword.
Your armour shines in glory,
silvery moonbeam,kisses your skin.
You ride upon the dark brown horse...
and glide through the misty alleys.
I am lost in your intense eyes,
I am not sure,whether I exist!
I have surrendered my body,mind,soul...
will you please save me,my knight?
I am burning,dying every moment
just for a glimpse of you,just to feel you!
But you have been so cruel to me..
you don't even stare...!
You are the flame,I am the moth;
I can't resist,even if I cease to exist!
Just for once,come close to me...
embrace me tight and lets fly free.
I crave for you,I worship you...
you are the God and my only lord!
I am helpless,I feel powerless,
and now I have surrendered myself.

SINNER...

Hate me,for I am the sinner;
curse my malicious soul.
Hate me,for I have wronged..
punish me,leave me forlorn .
I have to suffer,for all I have done;
all the agonies,of hopeless grief.
Never knew,I can be such a devil,
such a stalker,so brutal and abominable!
Don't know how the evil in me,
came out and slaughtered
snatched and threw away...
the quiet, little, dreamy angel;
residing in me,for so long!
Can't remember when I turned
so devilish and inhuman!
leave me alone,let me bleed
I just want to be redeemed...
of all those bondage of sins!
I can't bear the burden anymore,
let me destroy my perished soul.....
I wish I could stop my breathing!
I wish I could break my ribs......
take my heart out and burn it on pyre!
Hollow of darkness surrounds me,
I want to die,I want to be free!
No one wants me,no one loves me
I am screaming,screaming so loud
can't you hear,my angel of death?
Please love me,take me with you;
savage and thrash me down ,
in the darkest corner of hell...
Burn me,whip me...do as u like
just make sure,I don't survive...
Smash me down on the stony floor
pull me through the path...
bristled with thorns,deadly thorns
Let me bleed,until I am dead...
then throw my body,cold and pale;
in the darkest and the narrowest alley
to perish and fade away...!!!